Tuesday, March 9, 2010

taking the time

how come life is so busy, i try not to let it be... but it all gets away from you.... school, kinder, work... sometimes i miss those first few years when you had nothing to do, no where to go.. the day was yours ( but i think i felt isolated at that time.. the grass is always greener perhaps)
now every day there is something to do, there seems to be little time to stop and just be present or to parent, , i hear myself always saying quick... hurry up.... we have to go... we need to be.... There never seems to be the time to guide and teach and to enjoy the moment... to sit alongside my boys and be... to watch them slowly master a new skill or to help them try something new.
My grand ideas of letting the children be involved in cooking dinner, or helping with house hold tasks, like hanging out the washing together get swept aside because there is never enough time, it gets done if i quickly do it.

time is precious and my boys are growing....
i want to slow it down, enjoy the precious moments we have because all too soon those moments are few and far between.
after a weekend of a battle of wills with the youngest who is having a very loud voice at the moment i realised after reflection tonight that its not him its all of us at the minute just constantly running to keep up.
this blog, the Internet, shopping, work, gym, school, kinder, friends... it all consumes time. i know most of these are necessary ..
i want my family to be one that is happy, fun, with sound values, with all of us looking out for each other, guiding and helping along the way, that when we need to we can just stop and help or watch the snail crawl along the path, that i can let go and watch the boys flood the kitchen as they do the dishes.....

i want to be the mum that has the patience, (organisation, time) to be able to help someone put their own shoes on, get dressed by themselves, butter a piece of toast, that can just say.... lets just be today.... or sure lets go to the park and stay till you want to come home or yes i can sit and play because i have nothing else i have to do..

its a shift though for a control freak like me, that the dishes can wait, that i can just down tools and be. i need to be organised during the days i have off to prepare and freeze meals as well as to live in the moment when we can and on the days that we can and just pack up and go to the beach or the park, or stay and play....

so i guess i think i am embarking on a little change

i need to stop, be centred and grounded believe in myself and all that i am.

maybe now is all about time.... stillness and calm...the moment and all it holds...being alongside my children.. being centred and focused.

so here's to a new start...

documenting my days of simplicity.

reading this blog...helps express what i am trying to say


Jo said...

this is a beautiful post Nay... what you refer to is being 'value driven' and you've done the hard part already, which is working out what you really value the most. I know that this will help you to parent the way that you want to. x

kirsten said...

well said.
and i always try to remember that later on in life, people NEVER say, i wish i spent more time cleaning the house... no, it's always, i wish i spent more time playing with my kids, etc.
so hard, though. something i constantly battle with. i need to remember that my kids are only young for such a short time and it's so very precious.
good luck!x

lilredsquirrel said...

Nay - you moved me to tears. It WILL be alright and in a week or two or longer, this too shall pass and you WILL BE OK. They say things are sent to try us, and I know they are trying (in every direction at the moment) but you will get through because you are you -unique, talented, funny, loving, caring, beautiful soul. You are worthy and your boys are loved. There are so many who are worse off and I know you will find a way through. And really, whats wrong with a bit of a control freak - is that bad??